


The Anniversary Pig

by Leo_Our_Queen



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Anniversary, Awkwardness, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Good Parent Alfred Pennyworth, Humor, Jason is a Dork, M/M, Piglet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26052754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leo_Our_Queen/pseuds/Leo_Our_Queen
Summary: What gift can you possibly give someone on your one month anniversary?Bruce apparently knew the perfect thing.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 12
Kudos: 172





	The Anniversary Pig

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lucky_Charlie_Tango925](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucky_Charlie_Tango925/gifts).



> For my sir, [Charlie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucky_Charlie_Tango526/pseuds/Lucky_Charlie_Tango526) and all thanks to my gorgeous beta and love, [Charlotte](http://bluearchersstuff.tumblr.com)

Nothing really shocked Dick anymore. 

Becoming the sidekick of a notorious vigilante at a very young age came with the perk. After watching your parents fall to their deaths, living as a target of multiple kidnappings, being under the influence of a hallucinogenic drug called venom, fighting a crazed psychopathic murderous clown, and even flying into space and experiencing intergalactic adventures of any sorts. Dick can say without hesitation that not much can catch him off guard anymore.

But he was fully prepared to eat those words as he walked into the dining room and saw his adoptive father trying desperately to tie a red bow onto a small piglet, sitting _on the table._

Shock was a bit of an understatement at that moment.

"Hey, Bruce?"

"Hm." Came the reply without even a glance towards his direction.

"What the hell is that?"

Bruce gave up with the bow, opting to comb his fingers in his hair and let out an exasperated sigh. He can tie a knot in over 560 different ways but a simple bow was eluding him completely.

"This is a pig Dick. If you got out of the house more often, then you'd be able to recognize one." Bruce snapped.

"Um, okay, ouch? That doesn't explain what it's doing on the table."

Bruce took another deep breath, and the sad look that flashed over his face didn't escape Dick's notice.

"Bruce?"

"It's… a gift."

Dick brows shot up at the confession. He knew Bruce for his extravagant gifts and extremely expensive tastes. The Bat vigilante gifted him the most expensive diamond encrusted bracelet simply for bringing home straight A's once.

But a _pig_?

"It's for the four eyed alien, farmer Brown."

Dick whirled around to see the new voice and came in view of Jason. Shoulder leaned against the frame and an apple in hand with a completely amused expression on his face.

Dick moved his eyes back to Bruce in question, but the Batman was still trying to tie the stupid bow around the snorting pink piglet.

It was actually a pretty cute pig.

"Tell him what happened, old man."

"Shut up. I don't need this negativity right now, and I especially don't need-"

"Why the pig though?" Dick interrupted, still completely confused over what the fuck was going on.

"Yeah Bruce," Jason snickered. "Why the pig?"

Bruce's glare was intense enough to cut metal. But he relented. "Clark… I saw pictures… he had a pet pig once."

"Once?"

"Yeah. Fucking _once_." Jason was having too much fun.

"Clark is a farmer! He likes the farm." Bruce continued. "He likes farm animals and pigs. He likes country shit."

Dick was going to barf up those words, and completely eat them again because he was now officially shocked. Mostly at hearing Bruce say the words 'country shit' in a sentence. 

"So your anniversary gift to Clark… is a piglet?"

"Yes." Bruce hefted the happy piglet in his arms, red bow firmly in place.

"I still think he should have gotten Clark a dog. Bitches love bitches." Jason commented by the door.

Dick chose to ignore him with a question of his own.

"Why not a romantic date? It's only been a month since you two have been official. Why does Clark need an anniversary pig in the first place?"

Jason nearly dropped his apple. "An anniversary pig?! Holy shit I'm so done!" He was gripping his sides from laughing so hard. "He called the damn thing an _anniversary_ pig!"

Bruce looked down at the snorting pink farm animal in his arms.

* * *

_"Happy early anniversary!"_

_Bruce looked up from his bitter tasting cup of coffee to the outstretched gift Clark's hands, wrapped so poorly in newspaper._

_It was 3am and insomnia completely took over the vigilante after getting back from a clear patrol night. Bruce usually spends those sleepless nights hunched over his computer, but his extraterrestrial boyfriend decided to drag him out to the only open diner in Gotham city. The reason is simply because Clark didn't want Bruce to spend the night alone._

_"Anniversary?" Bruce was confused._

_"I know, it's completely cliche and it's only been a month. But still, happy anniversary! I really hope you like it, B."_

_Bruce gingerly took the newspaper wrapped gift. The reporter was too broke for regular wrapping paper too? After tearing it apart to see what held it's rectangular shape, Bruce's eyes went completely wide._

_Inside the paper was a framed photo, a restored colored picture of his mother._

_It almost brought tears to his eyes. He knew this picture, it was an old withered photo that had been damaged because of water leakage when he first built the batcave. He had completely forgotten about it, until now. Martha Wayne's beautiful eyes and smile beamed at him, and she was holding himself as an infant in her arms._

_"H… h-how did you get this?"_

_Clark nervously scratched the back of his head._

_"I found it when Alfred was showing me around the cave a few weeks ago. I have a friend back in Smallville that does restoration and conservation of old photographs. She, uh, owed me a favor."_

_Bruce just couldn't take his eyes off the photo, Clark knew exactly how much his mother meant to him. The death of his parents was one of the first deep subjects they've talked about together. Bruce has received many gifts throughout his entire lifetime, but this has to be one of the most sincere._

_"Thank you, Clark. Happy anniversary."_

* * *

Dick's hands slammed on the table, startling the poor unsuspecting piglet that somehow managed to get in Jason's arms. The acrobat was completely blown away.

"After that, I just had no idea what to give him." Bruce finished.

"God that was amazing of him, but I wouldn't give him a pig."

"Yeah me too."

"I third that deduction."

All three pairs of eyes looked to the new voice.

Alfred stood near the table, properly fixing the bow on the snorting and happy piglet. The english man even gave the piglet a little pat before handing him back to Jason's outstretched 'gimme' hands.

"How long have you been there Alfred?" Dick asked, not even hearing him walk in. The man would make an excellent Batman if he wanted to.

"Long enough. I was wondering why I was not preparing a large fancy banquet for Masten Kent today. You couldn't imagine my confusion when I saw you walk in with a _pig_ , sir."

Bruce looked down again, before looking up to meet everyone's eyes.

"I fucked up. I never… I didn't know what… I panicked okay?! I'm not good at… simple and personal gifts."

"So you buy a pig?" Jason asked, pig cradled in his arms like a baby.

"Clark likes pigs! He had a pig once! He's a farmer and farmers own pigs! Hell, he named his damn pig Mr. Pinks."

Dick got a look on his face. "Why not a dog?"

"Because I… dammit I don't know! I wanted to give him something personal and a dog isn't enough."

"And a piglet is, Master Bruce?" Alfred asked.

"No! I got the damn bacon seed-

Jason snickered. "Bacon seed."

"Shut it. I got the damn thing because I don't like pigs."

Dick was still confused. "Then why the hell even get it?"

"Because…" Bruce looked down to the floor. "Clark put some serious thought into his gift, he knew exactly what that memory was. I remember that pig, his father told me about how much he loved that thing. Even when we talk, Clark brings up Mr. Pinks and how he still kept his things" 

Bruce closed his eyes and took a breath, "Pigs are dirty, they're disgusting, they trash everything. Hell, you can use the damn things to hide a dead body. They stink, they're loud. God I _hate_ them… but Clark loves them and I'm not good at this and he didn't want me spending a lot of money on him. So how else do you say happy anniversary?"

"You already said it."

Bruce's eyes shot open as everyone whiplash their necks to see the new occupant of the room.

Clark leaned against the door, red flannel and large glasses in place, but the biggest amused smile covered the entirety of his face.

Bruce rushed over only to be stopped with Clark's hand up. "I want my pig first."

Jason took that moment to walk over and place the piglet in his hands, but not before giving a small kiss on the snout before waving Dick and Alfred out the room with his hand.

The three members left as Clark hoisted the pig in the air and cooed at it, giggling at the piglet's little happy snorts.

"Hi there baby! Hello! Ain't you the cutest lil fella, yes you is! Yes you is so cute!"

Bruce watched his boyfriend coddle the pink pig before taking another step forward. "Clark, look I'm sorry I couldn't get you anythi-"

"I _**love**_ him." Clark flashed his megawatt smile, eyes even slightly watered behind his glasses.

Bruce was at a loss for words. "He... was an impulse buy."

Clark completely ignored him, focused on holding the small baby in his arms.

"He looks exactly like Mr. Pinks! Down to the small spot on the top of his head, and every last trait. Bruce, I can't believe you remembered."

Bruce actually shocked himself. He _did_ remember, he didn't realize it at the time but he did go through multiple farms and litters or farrows of pigs. He found this one piglet that was just perfect and he couldn't place why… until now. The small pig looked exactly like the pig that was held in a young adolescent Clark's arm in a photograph Jonathan showed him that stayed on the mantle above the fireplace in Smallville.

Bruce couldn't stop the smile that slowly crept on his face. The next thing he knew, he was being swooped in the air towards the high ceiling. Bruce felt Clark lean his forehead against his own as the alien twirled them around, giggles bubbling out of him while Bruce lets out his own laugh. The small piglet was snorting and jumping on his hind legs from the ground, following them.

Looking into the Clark ’s neon sapphire eyes, he leaned in and gave him a deep kiss on his lips, and felt them being lowered back to the ground.

  
  


"Happy anniversary, Clark."

"Happy anniversary, Bruce."


End file.
